all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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