Can Purell be used as lube?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
