We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
