Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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