She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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