Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
