it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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