I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
