Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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