awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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