I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
