Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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