remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
