Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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