Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
