She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
