She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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