She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
