Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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