Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
