I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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