Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
