Don't you send me to vm
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
