hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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