her vagine was all disorganized.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
