with your own penis?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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