how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
