you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
