okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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