So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
