if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
