you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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