I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
