all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
