I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
