there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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