Small penises have feelings too.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
