**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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