at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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