We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
someone owes me an orgasm
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
