Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
