We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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