I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think i have two assholes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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