I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
