then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
