my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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