are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
nutella sex= disaster
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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