I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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