You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
