white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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