i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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